Cry
by Trickster-jz
Summary: KJ AU. When Kyp begins to slip into the power of the Emperor, Jaina follows, desperate to save him....but what price will she have to pay to attain her goal?
1. Part One: Promises and Confessions

**Cry: A Dark Romance Short Story**   
**By Trickster-Jaina-Fel   
  
Disclaimer**: The universe and recognizable characters belong to George Lucas. The assorted songs belong to various artists, whom I recognize immediately below the exert. The song that inspired this ("Cry") belongs to Faith Hill. The plot, Sanar, Mikela, Lara and Nycith belong to me (if you wish to use them, ask first). I'm not making any money out of this so don't sue.   
**Summary**: In a galaxy where the attack on the second Death Star never took place and Luke and Anakin Skywalker were killed by the Emperor, Jaina Solo and Kyp Durron meet. As their relationship progresses from friendship to much more, however, Kyp begins to slip away from Jaina and into the grasp of the Emperor. Desperate to save her husband, Jaina follows him – but at what price?   
**Characters**: Jaina Solo (Durron), Kyp Durron, Sanar Klis, Mikela Durron, Emperor Palpatine   
**Keywords**: AU, short story, Sith Lords, angst, romance, friendship   
**Author's Note**: alright, here's the scoop: the AU starts in RotJ, after Luke leaves Dagobah. From there, he goes to meet up with Han and Leia and the Twin talk happens. There's no second Death Star. Luke leaves Leia with a lot on her mind, and confronts Vader. Vader and Luke duel. Vader returns to the Light. Emperor kills Anakin and Luke. The Empire continues. Han and Leia continue fighting with the Rebellion and, two years later, they are married. A few years later, Jaina and Jacen are born, etc. Time goes on. The Imperials are constantly after the Solo family, especially the Solo kids who have been trained as best they can as Jedi. Leia is killed when the Solo twins are about seventeen. A few years later, Jaina and Kyp (who escaped Kessel on his own and never destroyed Carida) meet. Their relationship ends up being somewhat like their 'partnership' in the EU. Our story starts three years after Kyp and Jaina meet. Enjoy :D  
**AN2**: I originally planned for this to be just a song-viggie to Faith Hill's "Cry" but, um, that didn't sit well with the story, so now it's a short story, go figure :P The story skips ahead lots, showing short but important scenes.   
  
--------------------------   
  
She was a goner, Jaina realized with no small amount of horror. The Emperor's Hand –Jade, was it? – had been backing her closer and closer to the cliff with every slash and lunge, and Jaina hadn't had time to notice it until now. Her lightsaber was knocked from her hands, and flew down…down…down into the rocky crevices kilometres below.   
  
"Nice knowing you, _Jedi_," the assassin sneered. She raised her lightsaber; Jaina moved to duck under the slice, and…   
  
Nothing happened.   
  
Realizing something was wrong too late, Jaina was unable to stop her momentum and she rolled awkwardly, her right leg taking the brunt of it. When Jaina came up, Jade was nowhere to be seen. In her place was…   
  
"If you _ever_ think of dying on me again," Kyp said through gritted teeth, deactivating his lightsaber, "just remember that I'll _never_ let you rest in peace."   
  
She didn't – couldn't – move from her crouch, her breath coming in quick gasps. _So close_. "D-deal," she managed, taking the hand that he was offering. When she tried to stand, though, her leg flared in pain and the world tilted under her.   
  
He caught her before she hit the ground, but she was barely aware of it.   
  
::::::::::::  
  
Jaina awoke some time later in a large, unusually comfortable bed. Unusual, but nice. She had grown used to sleeping wherever there was room. Vaguely, she wondered what her mother – dead for several years now – would have thought. Somehow, Jaina doubted Princess Leia had ever had to sleep on a brandy-covered, duracrete floor, or on a cot with broken springs in a sleazy pay-by-the-hour motel.   
  
She stretched, her arms extending above her head and her leg muscles tensing for a moment before relaxing. She sat up and her eyes found a medium-sized room with golden-wood floors and walls, and wall-length blue curtains to cover the windows. Beside her was a small dresser with two rolls of bandages on top. In the far corner, there was a desk with a datapad on top.   
  
The sight caused her to frown in confusion; it had been a long time since she had woken up without Kyp nearby, who was usually either watching her impassively or still sleeping a few metres away. The curtains moved in the wind, and she pulled the blanket up to keep the cold off her. It occurred to her that she was in what passed for her nightclothes – a long sleeve shirt and knee-length pants – and she searched her mind for the memory of changing. It didn't come up.   
  
The door swished open and Kyp walked in; he froze when he saw her. "You're up."   
  
She sighed in relief. Kyp was back; they were still safe. "Where were you?" she queried, eyeing the tray of – she hoped – food that was in his hands.   
  
He smirked, but she noticed that he avoided her eyes. "Miss me, Goddess?"   
  
She looked at him down her nose. He _would_ bring up her old Intelligence op codename. "You only wish."   
  
"I know," he retorted. Grinning impishly, he closed the door behind him. "Well, I have you now, my pretty," he leered.   
  
She shook her head and swung her legs out of the bed. "Honestly; you're impossible, Durron." Before she could put her feet on the ground, they froze. Well used to this childish prank that Kyp seemed to adore, she scowled in her partner's direction. "Do you mind? I want to eat."   
  
"So eat in bed," he countered lightly as he pulled a chair up by her bed.   
  
She watched his expression suspiciously. Something was smelly in Dantooine. Very smelly. "What is this – Happy Hour Hotel?" she demanded sarcastically.   
  
She tried to stand again, but he pushed her back before she could even work against the Force-hold he'd put on her feet. "Goddess, you just barely survived that fight against Jade. I had to drag you here and put you into a healing trance without your help. Don't you dare get up; you'll undo all my hard work."   
  
She glared at him, but stopped struggling. It took too much energy anyway. Kriffing dizzy spells; they'd been far too much trouble lately. She decided to thank her lucky stars that she'd been able to hide them from Kyp. If he turned into a mother hen over a sprained knee – or whatever it was – she certainly wasn't going to give him licence to go nuts over occasional headaches and fluctuations in her equilibrium.   
  
"You came out badly too," she muttered peevishly, noticing the cut that ran along the left side of his face.   
  
"Just eat," he ordered impatiently, eyes rolling and mouth twisting in disgust.   
  
Deciding she'd needled him enough – for the moment – she grabbed a croissant off the tray and bit into it. "Since when do we have the money for this kind of food anyway?" she asked through a mouthful of pastry.   
  
Kyp groaned in exasperation. "Do you _always_ have to question good luck?" he demanded.   
  
She held her hands up in a sign of peace and made a face at him. "Jeez, it was just a question. Don't bite my head off."   
  
He was immediately contrite. "I'm sorry," he muttered, watching her. "I'm just – I thought… They're catching up."   
  
Jaina's eyes were bitter, cynical. "Aren't they always?"   
  
"They almost had us." Kyp's urgency suggested that there was something rattling around in his brain that he didn't want to get out. It was escaping, anyway.   
  
"No." She bit into the pastry viciously, chewed and swallowed. "Jade made the fight personal; I humiliated her in front of some important people years ago. Her orders were to bring us in alive; I guess she got sick of being a lapdog. I prefer that."   
  
Kyp's voice was emotionless. "What do you mean?"   
  
She frowned at him. "I mean exactly what you've decided for yourself. I'll die before I ever let them get me." His green eyes snapped to hers as she continued, fervent. "If I have to over-load my mind with the Force, use my own lightsaber against me – "   
  
He glared at her, eyes aflame. "Stop it!" he croaked.   
  
She pressed on. "I'll never go to them alive, Kyp," she vowed. "Never. You _know_ what they do to Jedi."   
  
"Shock" could not begin to explain the feeling that rushed over Jaina when Kyp stood, smouldering with rage. "Don't say that," he said, clutching her wrists, barely reining in on his anger.   
  
"Durron?" Jaina squeaked. She had seen Kyp in a fury before, but never had it been directed at her. Her mind flew back to what her mother had told her once. _"I don't trust him; he has so much anger… Don't get in his way, Jaina, _ever_."_   
  
Seeing her fear, Kyp forced himself to calm, but her words echoed in his mind with each breath he took. Taking her by surprise, he hugged her tightly. "Please don't say that," he whispered.   
  
Jaina didn't move.   
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you." She stiffened, her pride immediately stinging, but he continued. "I just…" His shielding intensified, so it felt like she was the only one in the room. "I care about you, Jay; I don't want to lose you too."   
  
Her eyes flew to his. Confessions of affection were taboo with them, ever since their brothers had been killed. People you cared about had a nasty habit of dying and leaving you alone and more desperate than before. "Kyp…" She sighed, pulled back and drew her fingers through her hair. "I care about you, too, but – "   
  
"Jaina, I didn't mean I care – I mean I _care_. I love you."   
  
Jaina knew she should blink before her eyes dried out, but she couldn't. He had said it. He had actually said it.   
  
Kyp Durron, Jedi Knight and her partner, had said what both of them had been dancing around for years.   
  
_This is bad,_ she thought frantically. _This is bad, bad, bad. No, I can't… We're not doing this. Zekk died. Jula was taken; who knows how she met her end. Both of us know better than this. We're in the middle of a war! Falling in love only gives the Empire another person to use against us._   
  
"You don't have to say anything," Kyp muttered, standing. "I know better than to expect anything."   
  
_WHAT? No, Kyp…!_   
  
He turned to leave, but she snatched his hand before he could walk out. "Wait." He stopped. "Look at me," she begged. It was stupid, crazy, foolish, but… "I love you, too," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.   
  
She felt him go rigid, but then he was so close she could feel his breath on her cheek. His touch sent sparks flying through her, making her light-headed. His eyes searched hers, as if her confession was more incomprehensible, unbelievable than his own.   
  
_It's war,_ her rational mind warned her again. **_War_**_. He'll be taken from you! Don't make it worse for yourself._ "I love you," she repeated, damning herself, before pressing her lips to his.   
  
:::::::::::::  
  
_If I should die this very moment   
I wouldn't fear   
For I've never known completeness   
Like being here   
Wrapped in the warmth of you   
Loving every breath of you   
Why live life from dream to dream   
And dread the day..._   
- "Gorecki" (from "Moulin Rouge!")   
  
::::::::::::  
  
"Stars, I love you," he whispered, his eyes roving over her in awe as she moved as close to him as possible.   
  
She didn't blush – it would have been pointless after everything. "I love you too," she returned, just as she had a thousand times that night, and snuggled into the crook of his arm, her eyes closing. For once, she allowed herself to relax, unworried by the Imperial patrols that searched for Kyp and herself, secure in his love. Kyp wouldn't let anything happen to her – to either of them.   
  
"I never will," he promised, hearing the echo of her thoughts. She smiled as he tightened his hold on her.   
  
This was the sanctuary that had been missing through her childhood. Nothing, she swore fiercely, would ever pull them apart. Nothing.   
  
::::::::::::

-

Don't worry, this is just the first of six chapters (give or take) ;).

Please R&R!

-TJF


	2. Part Two: Betrayal

**Cry**   
**By Trickster-Jaina-Fel   
**

**  
Disclaimer**: The universe and recognizable characters belong to George Lucas. The assorted songs belong to various artists, whom I recognize immediately below the exert. The song that inspired this ("Cry") belongs to Faith Hill. The plot, Sanar, Mikela, Lara and Nycith belong to me (if you wish to use them, ask first). I'm not making any money out of this so don't sue.   
**Summary**: In a galaxy where the attack on the second Death Star never took place and Luke and Anakin Skywalker were killed by the Emperor, Jaina Solo and Kyp Durron meet. As their relationship progresses from friendship to much more, however, Kyp begins to slip away from Jaina and into the grasp of the Emperor. Desperate to save her husband, Jaina follows him – but at what price?   
**Author's Note**: alright, here's the scoop: the AU starts in RotJ, after Luke leaves Dagobah. From there, he goes to meet up with Han and Leia and the Twin talk happens. There's no second Death Star. Luke leaves Leia with a lot on her mind, and confronts Vader. Vader and Luke duel. Vader returns to the Light. Emperor kills Anakin and Luke. The Empire continues. Han and Leia continue fighting with the Rebellion and, two years later, they are married. A few years later, Jaina and Jacen are born, etc. Time goes on. The Imperials are constantly after the Solo family, especially the Solo kids who have been trained as best they can as Jedi. Leia is killed when the Solo twins are about seventeen. A few years later, Jaina and Kyp (who escaped Kessel on his own and never destroyed Carida) meet. Their relationship ends up being somewhat like their 'partnership' in the EU. Our story starts three years after Kyp and Jaina meet. Enjoy :D  
  
--------------------------   
  
_They came at dawn, blasters drawn and ysalamiri by the tens. Kyp was the first to sense them, but my reflexes were quicker. I was dressed and armed when the first unit crashed through the door. In my desperation to defend us, I didn't notice that Kyp wasn't fighting properly.   
  
It came rushing to me, though, when blackness covered my vision, the world spun, and the stun beam hit me. Kyp didn't even try to deflect it._   
  
:::::::::::  
  
Jaina woke in a med-bay. Disorientation came first, but not for long. It took very little time for her to recognize her surroundings - and scream.   
  
She was in Imperial hands.   
  
_Sweet Force, take me now!_   
  
:::::::::::  
  
Jaina listened dumbly as Kyp tried to explain. She was sick, he said. She would have died if she hadn't received medical attention. The Empire didn't want them dead - Jedi were too valuable. In fact, they were free to go whenever they wanted. Better for the Empire that they live to be found some other day than to die. Palpatine had only one condition: in trade for Jaina's medical care, Kyp would train in the Dark side.   
  
"I won't fall!" Kyp assured her, increasingly desperate as she stared at him with blank, wide eyes. "I know better. Please, Jay, say something…"   
  
She turned her head away and cried.   
  
:::::::::::  
  
_Three months passed. The Imperials placed a Force-suppressing collar around my neck, because I was constantly trying to use the Force to escape. Kyp or a nurse was always nearby, making sure I didn't try something drastic. I could only stare as they prepared me for numerous surgeries and experiments, trying to find a cure to whatever illness it was I had.   
  
Eventually, my dizzy spells became blackouts, and I spent all my time either unconscious or too weak to move. The nurses didn't need to watch me anymore. Kyp became more wrapped up in his "training", but he spent any spare time he had next to my bed.   
  
At least, that's what I hoped - what I told myself.   
  
I wanted to tell him that I loved and forgave him, but the words wouldn't go past my lips.   
  
During the nights, when I was alone save the multitude of machines that were attached to my body, I cried._   
  
How could you do this, Kyp?_ I wondered. _How?   
  
:::::::::::  
  
_Have you forgotten all I know   
And all we had?   
You saw me mourning my love for you   
And touched my hand   
I knew you loved me then_   
- _Taking Over Me_ by Evanescence   
  
:::::::::::  
  
Jaina had begun to heal, but Kyp was still concerned about her. She wished he would just realize that this was as good as it was going to get. Every day she could feel the walls close in around them.   
  
"If we're going to leave, we have to do it now," she whispered to him one day.   
  
Kyp's eyes were weary, and she realized that he knew what she did. The difference was that he still felt he needed to protect her. "You're almost off the medicine," he said hoarsely, looking away. "As soon as you're cured, we'll get out of here. I promise."   
  
She sighed and looked at the ceiling. "I love you, Kyp, but I don't think you have control over this anymore." Her gaze lowered to his. "Actually, I don't think you ever did."   
  
He didn't reply.   
  
:::::::::::  
  
_We were married a week after I was "cured", but I knew that things would only get worse from then on. There was a month, our honeymoon, when I thought I had been wrong. I started to hope.   
  
But things began to crumble. Kyp didn't want to leave the Palace - the Empire - yet; he said that he didn't have to turn to the Dark side to learn from the Emperor. "By training me, he gives us a way to stop this madness," he told me, eyes aflame with fervour. "Just think, I'm 'learning' how to use the Dark electricity, and, once I know that, it's only a matter of time before I know how to block it, and then the playing ground is fair."   
  
I only stared at him and thought, _You said you were too smart to be seduced by the Dark side._   
  
I would have preferred it if it was some stupid, foolish affair. I could have left him if it was another woman. Could have hated him, could have demanded to know why he did this.   
  
But he didn't see himself slipping, and I dared to hope.   
  
Hope - increasingly, it was all I had, now that Kyp's love was changing.   
  
:::::::::::  
  
It took three months for payment to be demanded. When it did, I resigned myself to waking up in an empty bed. Kyp would be gone - training or on a mission for his Emperor. The missions were supposed to be harmless - helping refugees, protecting Imperials from Rebels, making sure people did their jobs right. None of it should have involved killing, but I began to flinch away from Kyp's touch, knowing that the Darkness was engulfing him.   
  
When I found out that he had a new, red lightsaber, I walked right out of the room, out of his arms, and cried.   
  
I had lost him._  
  
:::::::::::

-

Please R&R! :)

-TJF


	3. Part Three: Anything

**Kazzy**: lol, thanks! But this is definitely a short story. I've already posted it on JC; I'm just transferring it now. There are six parts ;) Thank you :D

**AngelBaby**: :)

**Eowyn Skywalker**: Thanks! AU's are my favourite, too. Jaina could have picked up the 'Goddess' nickname elsewhere, outside of the NJO, though. Especially because of her heritage ;) I was just playing around with the whole "it's a rogue and a goddess" thing that plays out so much in K/J fanfic.

----

Part 3 – Anything  
  
-

"Lady Durron?" The voice was cool, hard. Jaina was used to that.   
  
She looked up over Kyp's latest letter. He had been gone when she woke up, even after their bittersweet reunion. He had told her he loved her, last night, and she had believed him. _Never trust a Dark sider,_ she berated herself silently.   
  
"Durron." The woman's voice became sharp, and Jaina pulled her mind back to the present. Before her stood Sanar Klis, the Imperial slave the Emperor had assigned to the Durron quarters.   
  
"Yes, Sanar?"   
  
"Will you be eating here, this morning?" Twin fires lit in Sanar's eyes, and Jaina looked down. She knew exactly how Sanar felt.   
  
"I'm not really hungry," Jaina said quietly, "but thank you for asking."   
  
Sanar turned without a word and stomped toward the door. Before she left, however, she paused and said, "You're going to become ill, if you continue like this. You can't do anything if you're dead."   
  
Jaina's eyes flashed. "I can't do anything now; why bother? I don't see you storming into the Emperor's chamber, threatening to cut off his head if he doesn't free you."   
  
Sanar appeared to be thinking for a moment before she closed the door and walked back to the side of Jaina's bed. "Get up," she ordered, steel in her eyes. Jaina blinked, then swung her feet out from under the blanket, down to the carpeted floor. She and Sanar would have come eye-to-eye, once, but now Jaina felt like a small child in front of her mother. She was painfully aware of her thinness.   
  
The slave grasped Jaina by both shoulders and shook her. "Stop with your self-pity," the older woman growled. "No one cares unless you make them."   
  
"Maybe _I_ don't care."   
  
"That's a mistake; when you don't care, you die."   
  
Jaina brushed her hair out of her face. The gesture was weary. "So?"   
  
"You can't do anything for your husband if you're dead."   
  
The statement struck Jaina as hilarious. "My husband? My _husband_?" She snorted. "Kyp's not my husband anymore; he's not the man I married. He's a stranger. Eventually Palpatine will make him kill me, and then it won't matter if I eat."   
  
Sanar grabbed Jaina by the chin. "Look at me. No one is completely evil, nor completely good," the slave hissed.   
  
Jaina slapped Sanar's hand away. "Really? Well, then, I'll just take a few happy pills, eat a buffet and wait for Kyp to be normal again." She burrowed back into her bed, pillow over her head.   
  
She couldn't, however, block out Sanar's next words. "What would you do to bring Kyp back?"   
  
Jaina shot up, eyes wide. "You know something. Tell me!" she begged, seeing Sanar's hard expression.   
  
"Would you do _anything_?" Sanar demanded, her lip curling as she realized she had sufficiently caught the girl's attention.   
  
Affirmation was on her lips before Jaina paused and scrutinized Sanar. "What do you mean by _anything_?" she asked warily.   
  
Sanar's face closed. "Obviously not."   
  
Jaina panicked and tried to stop the woman from leaving, but Sanar was too far away. "I'll bring your food in, Lady Durron; you may not want to live, but your baby must." Sanar's head spun just a little, to smirk at Jaina's desperate face. "Oh? Didn't you know? Lord Durron' heir was created last night."   
  
When the door shut behind her, Sanar muttered, "Force save us, but time's getting short."   
  
--------------

_I didn't tell Kyp I was pregnant; I didn't want my child to be trained by Palpatine or even Kyp. The collar that the Empire had issued me dampened my Force presence, and Kyp was none the wiser. By the time I showed, Kyp left for months at a time. Sanar was the only one there during my daughter's birth.   
  
I named her Mikela, which means "light in the darkness". Sanar looked at me strangely when I named my daughter thus, and she told me that in_ her _language, it meant "war's tragedy". Sometimes I wondered which definition better suited Mikela.   
  
Sanar refused to speak further on stopping Kyp, even when I begged. "You hesitated," she retorted each time. "Come to me when you won't hesitate, even for a split second. When you'd do_ anything _you'll be willing to listen to me."   
  
A thousand times I tried to force myself to say "Anything", but every time I looked into my daughter's eyes and all assurances disappeared.   
  
Anything - that could mean turning, myself, couldn't it? Even worse, though, it could mean something to do with my daughter._   
  
--------------Kyp was home that night, and Jaina had had only a minute's notice. Mikela, who was nearing her second birthday, was with Sanar, as she always was when Kyp was nearby. No one would question the young girl's presence; Sanar was a slave, and Sanar and Jaina were alike enough in looks to be sisters.   
  
"You're not eating again," Lord Durron remarked, eyes on his wife.   
  
She _was_ eating, actually; she couldn't let Mikela down, and if Jaina was close to giving up, Sanar would force the food down. Jaina wondered at that, but had come to the hesitant conclusion that Sanar was becoming attached to Mikela, who was almost as much her daughter as Jaina's.   
  
It was strain, not malnutrition, that made her so thin. Her illness, too, was beginning to return, but she didn't tell him that. Palpatine would just make her medical care another debt. Jaina wasn't going to be Kyp's excuse for turning a little more - again.   
  
"I'm alright, just a little tired," Jaina replied, eyes flitting up to Kyp's for a moment.   
  
He frowned and caught her hand. "Less sleep doesn't make you look like a wraith."   
  
She snatched her hand back, eyes gleaming unnaturally. "Well what did you expect, dragging me into this?" she demanded. Without warning, tears spilled down her cheeks, and she turned her back to him, trying to hide them. "I told you I'd rather die than be in Imperial hands."   
  
"You're safe, aren't you?" he retorted angrily. "You have everything you could possibly want - "   
  
She rounded on him. "I wanted _you_, Kyp Durron, but I don't even know who you are anymore."   
  
Kyp's eyes moved nervously over her. "I love you," he said finally, harshly.   
  
"I love you, too, more than you know." Jaina sniffed and rubbed her eyes, forcing the tears to the side. "But maybe," she finished, "I'm getting tired of sharing you with Palpatine."   
  
--------------_That night was the first - and last - time Kyp ever struck me. Although he was immediately contrite, I knew it had come to an end. Despite his pleas for forgiveness and vows of love, I knew I would never tell him about Mikela. Not even the desperate kisses and tender love-making, which followed what he thought was my acceptance of his apology, could change my mind.   
  
I knew how to answer Sanar's question, now:   
  
_Anything.   
  
--------------

-------

----

--

-


	4. Part Four: Of Husbands and Sisters

**Ewoyn Skywalker** – thanks!

--

**Part Four: Of Husbands and Sisters**

_Now I will tell you what I've done for you  
50 thousand tears I've cried  
Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you  
And you still won't hear me  
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself  
Maybe I'll wake up for once  
Not tormented daily defeated by you_  
- "Going Under" by Evanescence

------------

When Jaina woke, she was still caught in Kyp's embrace. She tried to remember the last time he had stayed the whole night, but couldn't. For a second, her heart rose. Maybe that was all that it had taken – him realizing how much he had changed. Maybe…

But the next minute her heart did a spectacular dive. Of course it wasn't that. Lord Durron felt guilty; anyway, he still needed an heir, she supposed, and Jaina was his wife of three years.

"Good morning, Jaina," her husband said, voice husky.

Jaina started a little; knowing Kyp was there didn't make it easier to adjust, especially when she thought he was still asleep. "Good morning," she replied sullenly, pulling away as much as his tight embrace would allow. She buried her head in the pillows. She wished he would just leave, so Sanar could come and bring Mikela. Then they could talk about stopping this madness. The Empire had gone on long enough; Jaina had no right to hold back anything in the fight just because she was in love with the man who was rapidly becoming Palpatine's lapdog.

She heard Kyp sigh, and he rubbed her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. "Jay… Please, I'm sorry."

"If you were sorry, we wouldn't be here." Jaina's voice was harder than she had intended. His anger was a tangible thing, and Jaina wondered if he'd try to hit her again. The bruise on her face throbbed in memory.

Instead of striking Jaina, however, Kyp pressed his lips to her exposed neck, which had been released of the Force-suppressing collar for the night. She flinched; if that hadn't been a reminder of her vulnerability, she didn't know what was. "Why don't you just kill me and get it over with?" she asked abruptly, turning to glare at him.

He recoiled, deep green eyes wide, as if she had been the one to strike him. "Jaina…"

"Oh, don't give me that," she snapped, cutting off his denial. "You know as well as I do Palpatine's only keeping me around for leverage. When he's done with me he'll have me killed. By your hand or his – it doesn't matter, does it? Dead is dead, unless Palpatine wants to throw torture in, too."

Durron's eyes smouldered and, if she had been standing, she would have taken a step back. "You're not going to die," he swore. It almost sounded like a verdict.

"Ironic, isn't it?" she continued, ignoring him. "You'll kill me because of the deal you made to save me."

He attacked her mouth roughly, burning her lips with viciousness. The kiss was a denial of everything they had once shared. Once, she thought miserably, she had enjoyed being kissed and touched by Kyp. When he pulled back, his eyes were hard, like they had been the night before. He ignored her tears, the betrayal in her eyes. "I would never kill you, Jaina," he growled.

She hid her face in the pillow, refusing to let him see her cry. When she looked up again, he was gone.

"But you already did," she replied in despair.

------------

_If your love could be caged  
Honey, I would hold the key.  
And conceal it underneath  
That pile of lies you handed me.  
And you'd hunt and those lies  
They'd be all you'd ever find.  
And that'd be all you'd have to know  
For me to be fine._  
- "Cry" by Faith Hill

------------

By the time Sanar arrived, Kyp was off-planet, and Jaina had no more tears to cry. Her red eyes were the only physical evidence of her grief. In the place of a wreck, she was eerily calm and detached. It was time, she had decided, to face the facts. Kyp was gone – had been for two years, at least. Lord Durron needed to be stopped. She had as much luck in doing that as anyone, she supposed.

"Anything," she stated as soon as Sanar closed the door behind herself and Mikela. "I'd do anything."

Sanar blinked and unexpectedly looked down, knowing instinctively what Jaina was talking about. Her chest heaved for a moment, as if she was trying to hold back a sob of her own. When her head raised, Sanar's eyes were tired. "He hit you," she said after a long pause, noticing Jaina's bruise.

"It hurt the least," Jaina replied.

The slave nodded, coming to sit next to Jaina on her bed. "It always does."

Jaina didn't respond, only stared across the room at nothing, oblivious to her daughter's quiet chattering and her friend's concern. When she closed her eyes, Jaina could see Kyp as she had first seen him, felt his kisses on her skin and remembered the tingles his grin always sent down her spine. The images of her husband were replaced with Mikela's big, hazel eyes. The woman turned to smile at her daughter as Mikela giggled in delight, having managed to catch some of Sanar's hair.

"You told me not to ask again until I could answer without hesitation," Jaina said, taking Mikela and cuddling her, much to her daughter's disappointment. The toddler's anger was soothed when her tiny fingers found a lock of her mom's hair, which she began tugging. Jaina's eyes raised, reluctantly, to Sanar's. "I refuse to let this go on any longer. Kyp will only get worse, now, and the fact that I need to hide Mikela… I'll do anything, Sanar. I don't have much time left before I go insane from this whole mess."

Sanar lifted Mikela out of Jaina's hands and placed her on the ground. Satisfied that the toddler out of the way and crawling happily – the conversation was becoming too dark for a child – Sanar studied her friend. "I believe you, but I'm not sure I want to tell you." Jaina's expression didn't change; she waited for the older woman to continue.

Sanar took a deep breath. "When I was a child, the Force would frequently show me visions. It lessened as I grew but I still see things. Most have to do with me, but not always. You and Kyp…well, I Saw enough. I forgot some of the ones I Saw when I was a kid, because I didn't know why the Force needed to show them to me. I remembered them when you first came to the Palace."

Jaina blinked. "You mean…I should have done something in the past? Something to change this?"

Sanar shook her head. "No; I think the Force was just giving me some background, so I'd know why things needed to work out the way they do… Maybe it was even supposed to be a way of helping me understand you." She eyed her friend. "I don't want to tell you this," she repeated. "I know you're just going to get hurt by this, again."

Lady Durron's eyes hardened. "I've already been injured irreparably. I'm only living for other people, now."

Her friend nodded, increasingly weary. "I saw how much Kyp used to love you, and I know how much you love him, so I choose to believe it will be worth it."

"What do I need to do?"

Sanar's eyes were drawn to the toddler who crawled around, grinning from ear to ear as she inspected everything in her mother's room. "Love him, Jaina. Forget he's Lord Durron and love him until your heart aches. It will weaken him."

Jaina's eyes were closed, and she took a deep breath. "And then…?"

Sanar looked back to her friend. "And then Palpatine will damn himself."

Jaina had childishly believed she was out of tears, but now they slid down her face in a torrent. "I'm going to die, aren't I?"

Tears answered tears. "I'm sorry," Sanar whispered, taking Jaina into her arms and rocking her like a child.

Mikela continued to play, oblivious to the tears her mother and "aunt" spilled.

------------

_For a year, I loved him. At first, it was painful to give him my heart and let him bruise it, even if by 'accident'. As time passed, however, I grew used to it, or maybe Kyp changed. I don't know; maybe it was a bit of both. I won't make a martyr of myself and deny that I was too close to the situation to be sure. In truth, it passed in a blur. I cried some, and I lived for my time with Mikela._

_I spent a great deal of time thinking, too, though. I had lost many people to death over the years – brothers, friends, parents and even a few lovers. Kyp, too, if you want to be metaphorical. I had always been the one left behind; now I was the one who was going to leave. I let Sanar comfort me, because I knew it let her distance herself from the fact that I was not the one who would hurt the most. My pain would happen and then be gone in a flash. Sanar would be the one to push on._

_I had never had a sister, nor had I ever dreamt about shared tea parties or the like, but I found a sister in an unexpected person. Sanar and I became sisters because we were too alike and too different to be friends. Thanks to Sanar, I found a family, which expanded to include my precious Mikela…my daughter, the light of my life…_

_I had told Kyp and Sanar that I wanted to die. I had walked around for so long, pretending it was true. Shavit, I even managed to convince myself._

_I was wrong. I've accepted my death, because I have to, but I wish it wasn't like this. I am not immune to regrets. Sanar will love and protect Mikela, but I'm leaving my daughter otherwise alone. At least I have memories of my mother; Mikela will have nothing of me other than what Sanar tells her. Maybe, someday, she will hear about me from Kyp… I don't know._

_Sanar asked me if, should this nightmare be successful, I want her to make Mikela known to Kyp. I can't answer that – not properly, at least, and not with correct perception. My reply, finally, was that the Force let me hide Mikela for years; if it was right for Mikela to meet her father, the Force would make it so._

_Sanar laughed at me and said she – or a priest – was rubbing off on me._

_It was the last time I heard her laugh; the next day, Palpatine came and damned himself, as Sanar had told me he would._

------------

Well, I'm ready to kill this QuickEdit program....leave a review to encourage me to keep posting on this blasted site! :D ;)

-Tjz


	5. Part Five: Cry

**MaraJadeSkywalkerJedi**: thanks!

**Eowyn Skywalker**: thank you! And QuickEdit's horrible…but as long as I know someone's reading my stories, I'll keep posting, I guess :P :)

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Well, here it is…the climax…the "anything"…there will be one more post after this, so stick around!

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**Part Five: Cry**

-

It was late, but Jaina was not in the habit of going to bed before Kyp returned for the night. Wistfully, she thought of her daughter; it had been almost a week since she had been able to spend time with Mikela. Her growing unease about Sanar's prophecy did not lift her misery. Even Kyp had commented on the storm that hung over her head.

_Kyp…_ Jaina sighed, and indulged her heart for a moment, remembering the soft kiss that had followed his teasing. She had slept better last night than she had in ages.

The next second she scowled. _Jaina Solo-Durron, you are turning into a sentimental old fool at the age of twenty-seven; what are you going to be like when you're actually_ _"old"?_

She flinched at her mind's instant response: _Well, I'll never know, will I?_

Properly furious with herself now, Jaina stomped over to the clock that hung over the dinner table. It was time someone made the thing able to zip around without a chain attached to it, she decided, eyes flashing. By now, she should be able to call it right into her room, when she didn't want to move from Kyp's arms. Its lack of artificial intelligence was the stupidest reason in the universe for the machine to wait around in one spot.

The clock's digital numbers glowed the time: two in the morning. She sighed again and rubbed her eyes. Where was Kyp? He was usually home by now…

And she sounded like a bossy old woman.

_Maybe it's a good thing I'll have a short life; if I spent too long in my head, I'd go insane_, the Jedi thought with exasperation.

Giving up on Kyp, Jaina headed over to the bed chamber. If she was going to deal with the insufferable clock, she was going to do it in the comfort of her bed. Opening the door, however, stole a small scream from her lips.

Standing in the middle of her room, studying a holo from Jaina and Kyp's honeymoon, was Emperor Palpatine.

The clock tumbled from Jaina's hand as she stepped back. The motion – and her scream – brought Palpatine's attention to her. "Have a seat," the Sith crowed beneath his hood. "Or don't; this won't take long."

Ice shrieked through Jaina's veins, and she realized this was it. This was Sanar's prophecy. This was what brought around Kyp's redemption.

_"Love him, Jaina. Forget he's Lord Durron, and love him until your heart aches. It will weaken him." "…Palpatine will damn himself."_

"Why are you here?" Jaina asked, forcing her voice to stay in control. Her fear showed only through her open derisiveness.

"You've been a very busy girl," Palpatine said, a demonic grin spreading across his face as he took a step forward. "Very busy."

Jaina didn't reply, but it took all her strength to stay where she was. His very stench was offensive, and even without the Force she knew she wouldn't like what was coming next.

"War can do that to a person," she replied.

"How, little one, is your head?"

The muscle in her jaw tightened, knowing he spoke of the tumour that had rooted itself in her head years ago, bringing about Kyp's betrayal. "I think your medicine was faulty," she stated bluntly.

Palpatine cackled. "What medicine?"

Jaina's eyes widened, despite herself. "_What medicine"?? Did he… Would he… How…?_

"It was an easy matter," the Sith sneered, "to put too much pressure on your brain; Durron was watching you closely but without real knowledge of medicine. His panic made him stupid. So easy," the emperor repeated, orange eyes glittering.

It took Jaina a long moment to find her voice, and then it failed and stumbled. "It – it was all a…fabrication?" she said weakly. "Just to get Kyp?"

"True, Jedi." Palpatine's triumphant sneer reached both ears.

"And meanwhile you pumped me full of…what? Metal?"

Again, Palpatine cackled. He was clearly enjoying this. Jaina was barely holding together under the more than unpleasant epiphany. She didn't need to be a seer to understand and agree with Sanar's prophecy; if anything threw Kyp over the edge, it would be this.

_It was all for nothing_.

"Insurance," the emperor finally said, deciding to crush her a little more. "I'm afraid," he continued mockingly, "that for three years poison has been lying dormant in your blood. Your death, when I activate the poison, will be painful."

She shut her ears as he went on about the slow, unstoppable agony. _Stars in heaven; is this even worth it? Kyp, where_ are _you?_ When no answer came, she gathered all her strength and glared right into Palpatine's hideous face. "Well, then, what are you waiting for? Activate it."

"Not yet; I'm waiting…" Palpatine's eyes gleamed, "for the daughter you so successfully hid from my apprentice."

------------

_Mikela. My daughter. My sole reason for life when I wanted to give up. The best part of Kyp and I._

_Palpatine went too far; everyone has their limit. The idea of Mikela being hurt was mine. Kyp's turning, I could fight for, sacrifice for. Mikela's life, I would die for._

_I attacked before Palpatine could blink. In the confusion, an Imperial Guard entered the room, a great deal of Sith electricity flew about and in me, and someone…someone, who I will alternately curse and bless for the rest of my ever shortening life, activated the poison._

_Palpatine was right: it was more painful than I could have possibly imagined._

_But it wasn't Hell; Kyp would be there soon – had to be – and Palpatine would die, or we all would._

_Mikela would be safe._

_Regrets, I have many. My daughter…my husband…my sister. I was leaving them; my breathing was coming, going, in bursts. Sanar could never have prepared me for this. Agony laced through my veins._

Kyp…

------------

Underlings, bounty hunters and assassins were blown every which way as Lord Durron suddenly exploded in fear and anger. The Force threw everyone – with the exception of its furious wielder – to the closest wall, if the beings were lucky. A few spun into the centre of the command area and slid right down to the next level of technicians.

The next moment, Lord Durron was gone, faster than anyone could blink, if the larger percentage of them hadn't been unconscious.

------------

The pain made comprehension of the scene before her close to impossible. Jaina was pretty sure Kyp had come in…yelling…and she thought she might have been moved around and bruised. Bruises, she thought. The poison didn't affect her outward appearance. It cut at her insides, burned through her organs, but she didn't…

Yes, someone – or something – had thrown her about. Her skin was more tender in certain parts than it was in others. The part of her that could still think was pretty sure the poison spread throughout _all_ of her body.

Vaguely, she heard accusations and condemnations ring through the room, felt the air crackle with electricity, saw three figures battle. Then one of the fighters (was he clothed in red or blood?) dropped, his head hurtling into her legs, banging them painfully and splattering blood. The body landed elsewhere. The smell of gore and burnt skin assaulted her senses.

Jaina felt life seep from her, wished she could have cuddled Mikela – laughed with Sanar – kissed the husband she'd lost years ago – just one last time Salty tears, bittersweet in her sacrifice, lined her cheeks, though she was barely aware of them. She wished she had a happier life to look back on.

Red and then black began to steal her vision. It was the end, she knew, but she wished she could have seen the start of the beginning she had lain down her life for.

------------

_Give it up baby  
I hear you're doin' fine.  
Nothin's gonna save me  
I see it in your eyes.  
Some kind of heartache  
Honey give it a try.  
I don't want pity,  
I just want what is mine_  
- "Cry" by Faith Hill

------------

Kyp didn't see Palpatine fall; he turned away from the twisted man, confident the vile thing would die without his watching. His thoughts were only for his wife, who he found, weakly twitching, to the far left, against her dresser.

He stared at her, wondering if he should touch her, hold her, or if that would just speed everything. If it would take her – the woman he had loved enough to betray – even more quickly. His impulses took over, and he gently lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bed. Her head drooped, and her breathing was shallow. He left her for only a moment, to find the control panel for Jaina's anti-Force collar. Fingers trembling, he deactivated the contraption, but it was too late.

The Force had made Its decision; the Force was going to welcome a daughter in need of comforting; nothing would save her from Its comfort.

She was leaving him; she was already gone.

------------

**_If this was a storybook, Jaina would have been awake when I held her. We might have been able to cry together; I might have begged her forgiveness, told her that I had, did and would always love her. In a particularly romantic story, we would have shared a last kiss – and maybe that would have brought her back to life._**

****

**_This is not a story; at least, not one you would pick off your bookshelf and read to your child. This is the untold truth: the dying and the left-behind to do not always have their goodbyes._**

****

**_For one tiny moment, however, I felt the Force surge around us and Jaina opened her eyes. It was only a second, not nearly enough for all that needed to be said and done, but a true thing._**

****

**_We shared no words, only a look: a look that spoke of the love and the hatred that we shared. Of the suffering and the joy; the truth and the lies. The sacrifice and the cowardly betrayals; the faults and the virtues._**

****

**_Jaina and I shared more than most people will ever feel for a group of people, let alone for one other person. For every beautiful moment in our relationship, there was its polar opposite._**

****

**_I betrayed her because I thought it was the only way to save her. I never meant for my Darkness to touch her._**

****

**_It is only now, as her breathing slows, that I realize the truth: it was she that my turning most affected. Look at me, curse me, and do your best to hurt me, but nothing you do or say can be worse than the fact that I destroyed the one person I wanted to save._**

****

**_Nothing._**

------------

There was no clear line between the life and death of the Jedi Knight Jaina Solo-Durron. The poison did its work well; she was in pain until she fell into unconsciousness. The twitching of muscles faded, eventually, but it was impossible to see when, exactly, the last one was. Her breathing continued for a long time, but so did the breaks in between.

Three people cried that night: Jaina's lost and then returned husband, her sister and her daughter. One remained locked up in his quarters, torn apart by guilt and grief; two others escaped under the cover of darkness, the night doing nothing to hide either's tear-stained faces.

Beyond the solitary, grief-stricken trio, a stunned galaxy woke and saw the news: after a terrible fifty year reign, Emperor Palpatine was dead.

Eventually, the story of Jaina's sacrifice got out, but it became myth. Few knew the real truth. Elements were twisted – _she_ had been the Emperor's Hand, or the concubine that finally took matters into her own hands. What was never told was the real tragedy of the sacrifices made by many – by Sanar, who let her sister go, by Kyp, who lost everything he never knew he had but refused to corrupt his wife's memory. Jaina's was the most obvious, the scream amongst whispers, but hers was, as she knew, over and done with.

Not everyone has that kind of twisted blessing.

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_It's hard to just  
Forget the past  
So fast  
It was good  
It was bad but  
It was real and that's  
All you have  
In the end  
Our love mattered  
_- "Escape" by Enrique Inglesias

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...and I can't belive it. QuickEdit actually worked ths time :O What a twisted world we live in....

Please R&R!

-Tjz


	6. Part Six: Mikela

**MaraJadeSkywalkerJedi** – thanks :D

**Eowyn Skywalker** – I know! QuickEdit working = a miracle. I had to stare at the computer for several long moments before it sank in :P Does it sound sadistic if I say that I'm glad I can wring some tears out of you?

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Alright, hopefully the little stars show up beside the lyrics. If they don't, I do not own either of them.  
  
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Part Six (Epilogue): Mikela  
  
(Twenty years later)

"_Feeling wide open and waiting for  
Something warm and tender  
Now she's moving further from you  
There was nothing that could make it easy on you  
Every step you take reminds you that she's walking wrong_"

The singer's voice was haunting and full of old emotions. Kyp avoided looking up; it was almost as if the woman had peered into his soul, and he didn't want to make eye contact and have it confirmed. Eventually, however, his eyes flicked up and found the owner of the low voice. A plain girl, completely unexceptional, stood at the mike, eyes half closed as she sang. One of her hands was raised a little, as if she was trying to touch a memory.

Not exactly the soul-searching type, he decided, embarrassed by his paranoia. He turned back to his drink and shut out the girl's voice. Solitary years passed as he sat, and the girl's voice was joined by that of a man.

Kyp looked up again, unable to help himself, and caught the girl's smile at her dark-haired companion, who looked suspiciously like a bounty hunter or assassin who had been dragged up by his girlfriend. Judging by the look in the man's eyes, however, he didn't mind a little "embarrassment".

"_Every word you never said  
Echoes down your empty hallway  
And everything that was your world  
Just came down_"

Kyp cursed again. He shouldn't have come to a place with music. Artists had a talent for pointing things out that he didn't want to see – especially on the topic of lost love. Finally, the singing duo bowed and left the stage. Kyp was a little disgruntled when the couple sat down at the booth directly across from his, but at least they weren't singing. They had been replaced by a group of Bith, so there was no danger of lyrics.

He pointedly avoided looking at the couple, who were talking softly over frothy drinks, heads intimately close. A waitress – apparently someone they knew – stopped for a moment.

"Lera," the young woman said mischievously, eying her plain friend. "What, exactly, is that on your finger?"

Lera blushed – Kyp had the feeling she did that often and easily – and exchanged a look with her boyfriend. "It appears to be an engagement ring," she murmured, unable to hide her smile.

The waitress tapped the table lightly with her coffee pot. "Congratulations! Arelyk will be disappointed, but I might be able to pick up the pieces…" She winked. "Order what you will; even Grix wouldn't make you pay tonight."

The man spoke for the first time. "Well, then, I guess we'll just have to buy enough to stock up our food supply; the storage room has been looking rather bare lately…"

Lara swatted him. "Nichyn! You shouldn't take advantage of people."

He sent her a steaming look that appeared to efficiently melt her into goo. "Why not? It got me you, star-gazer." His grey eyes flashed up to the waitress. "This is your cue to leave, Mikela."

Mikela laughed. "Yeah, yeah, I'll go; just don't say anything _too_ daring or she'll be red until her wedding."

Nichyn's eyes twinkled devilishly, but he didn't reply, and Mikela turned to Kyp. "Can I get you anything, sir?"

He began to refuse, but froze when he got a good look at her.

She was exactly Jaina's height and body type, even to the slightly lopsided length of her arms. Brown hair was pulled back, but strands of it framed her face in a casual way. But, most astonishingly of all, she had his eyes.

"I'm sorry, what did you say your name was?" he asked, his own eyes narrowing. Shock – and maybe betrayal – would come later, if the idea racing around in his mind was true.

The young woman shifted, scrutinized him, then her eyes smiled. "Mikela Durron…why?" She bit the corner of her mouth, just like Kyp did when he was on the verge of understanding something.

He blinked exactly twice before replying. "Because my name…" he hesitated, "is Kyp Durron."

Her lips curved into the Solo grin. "Aunt Sanar said I'd meet you tonight," was all his daughter said before sitting down.  
  
In the corner, a transparent woman watched with a bittersweet smile. The sight of her husband and daughter's first glimpse of each other made her consider stepping forward, letting her husband see her, but she pulled back at the last second.

She had watched and loved for many years now; it was Mikela's turn to meet Kyp.

Jaina could wait a few more years.

With a flicker, she was gone.

_  
Never thought I'd say I'm sorry  
Never thought I'd be the one to bring you down  
Now when I look outside my window  
But there doesn't seem to be anyone around  
And I, I think I'll change my ways  
So all your words get noticed  
Tomorrow's a brand new day  
Tomorrow's a new day_

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"The Difference" by matchbox twenty

"Brand New Day" – by Forty Foot Echo 

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-Tjz


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